January
1999 - Ranma 1/2 Restaurants||February/March
1999 - Ranma 1/2 Characteristics and Elders||April/May/June
1999 - Ranma 1/2 Rivalries||
January
1999 list - Ranma 1/2 Restaurants
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...you
try to win someones love by challenging their fiance
to a ramen delivering race."
"...you
try to use paralysas powder to get the man of you're
dreams to kiss you."
"...you
take erotic pictures of you're sisters fiance to sell
for some serious Yen."
"...you
try to hit your loved ones with a mallet in times
of fustration."
"...you
beat up the local fencing champion in hopes he'll
fall for you."
"...
you decide that Mallets are they way to a man's heart."
"...
you follow Akane's recipie secrets in hopes of imobilizing
a fiance."
"...
you sew up black roses and hand them out to guys you
think are cute."
"...
you send your love messages in food."
"...you
know you've been into ranma 1/2 when, to date someone,
you paralyse him like kodachi does!"
"...you
use a pig disguise to sleep with the girl you dream
of."
"...you
start reciting Kuno's lame poetry to TRY and win a
girls heart."
"...you
jump at any big breasted girl who walks down the street
and amazingly your not dead or arrested..."
"...no
matter where you are trying to go, you always end
up in front of the special someone's house."
"...the
best way you can think of asking a girl out is spelling
a note on her okonomiyaki."
"...you
consider anyone with less than *three* fiancees a
total loser."
"...you
swear undying vengeance on he who jilted you, only
to fall deeply in love with him upon being called
"cute.""
"...you
think it's entirely possible that two girls in a passionate
embrace could be heterosexual."
"...you
throw roses at your loved ones."
"...you
and your friend spend hours obsessing over which characters
are best for each other and how to get various couples
together from Ranma."
"...you
find yourself surronded lovely women who want to marry
you and you are actually unhappy!"
"...you
write love letters in green ink to get a girl to fall
in love with you."
"...whenever
you see a Chinese girl you run fearing the kiss of
death or engagment."
"...you
get jealous over your fiancee's pet pig."
"...you
start to wonder what shampoo really serves at the
Cat Cafe'"
"...you
want your wedding reception at Shampoo's Neko Hanten!"
"...you
walk up to a manager at McDonald's and say, "Wow,
Ukyo, you sure have changed this place!"
"...all
your friends are getting summer jobs at other restraunts,
and you're broke, looking for a job at Neko Hanten."
"...you
walk into Pizza Hut and ask if they have okonomiyaki."
"...then
you ask if they'll write something on it for you."
"...in
Japanese."
"...your
date wants to take you out to eat, and you suggest
Ucchan's."
"...you
send a letter of outrage to the Chamber of Commerce
because they forgot Ucchan's and Neko Hanten in your
city's list of restraunts."
"...you
wish that you could wield a huge spatula and learn
the special Okonomiyaki techniques."
"...you
throw water at the waitress of every chinese resteraunt
you visit to see if they change into a cute cat. Even
if the name of the resteraunt ISNT the Neko Hanten."
"...you
start eating Ramen for every meal because you like
Shampoo."
"...sending
messages via okonomiyaki has replaced your telephone,
mail, email, etc."
"...you
daily visit the nearest Chinese restaurant in order
to propose to the first purple-haired girl you see
(or anything else your limited vision perceives as
such)."
"...you
are slapped over the head with a spatula at your fav
restaurant every time you say something offending
to the chef."
"...you
expect all restaurants to be run by martial arts expert
females, and are shocked when you find out they aren't."
"...when
people talk about sushi, you ask, "What about okonomiyaki?""
"...you
train your granny to throw ramen bowls at you as you
cath them on your for-head."
"...you
petition for the local Domino's to be renamed Ucchan's
Okonomiaki."
"...you
wonder why nobody in your neighborhood delivers Ramen
by bicycle -- and in the middle of the night."
"...you
have three girls you like cook for you in order to
make a decision as to who you would date."
February/March
1999 list - Ranma 1/2 Characteristics and Elders
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...you
find the mallet is a great way to win an arguement."
"...you
hide foreign objects in your sleves no matter how
stupid the weapon."
"...you
scream Shi Shi Hokudan during a fight and everyone
looks at you in a really funny way."
"...you
get habitually lost for long periods of time, for
no reason whatsoever."
"...you
think that wearing coconuts like the Principal is
cool."
"...you
start going around yelling hi-yah evrytime something
bad happens or surprising, or if something scares
you."
"...you
order Chinese takeout in the hopes it'll be delivered
by a cute Amazon on a bike."
"...you
begin a city-wide chase every time you talk to your
boyfriend/girlfriend."
"...you
start justifing stealing panties."
"...you
commit random acts of property damage just for the
heck of it."
"...you
practice the "breaking point" because you stopped
feeling like "opening" a door."
"...you
habitually poke people's chests to make sure of their
gender."
"...part
of your daily routine is yelling at a guy leaping
from rooftop to rooftop stealing people's panties,
or... if part of your daily routine is in fact leaping
from rooftop to rooftop stealing people's panties."
"...your
fiancee sends a monkey for you to marry."
"...the
sight of your true love inspires you to run around
town while toting a skeleton on your back."
"...you
start calling calling old people 'ghouls'."
"...you
whack people with a giant combat spatula like Ukyou."
"...you
yell "(Insert name here),prepare to die!" to your
worst enemy,like Ryoga."
"...you
run around in a leotard,throwing black roses and laughing
insanely like Kodachi (Bonus if you're a guy!)"
"...you
recite bad poetry like Kunou."
"...you
avoid cold water when ever possible like Ranma."
"...you
glomp your fiance,while yelling "Woda airen!" like
Shampoo."
"...you
become known as the neighborhood underwear thief like
Happosai."
"...your
friends start to wonder where the heck DO you get
that big mallet to his your boyfriend with?"
"...you
expect to leave a perfect shoeprint when you kick
someone in the face."
"...you
operate a martial arts dojo for a living, but you're
never seen conducting classes... EVER."
"...you
start thinkin' that all guys want is more than one
fiance."
"...you
accidently step into the shower before it heats up,
but before you bother to get out of the freezing water,
you take a panicked glance down at your chest."
"...you
get the job of breaking walls down when your mother
renovates."
"...the
military calls on your girlfriend requesting permission
to use her cooking as a biological weapon."
"...you
find nothing strange in sleeping with a pig."
"...you
ride bicycles off rooftops to see who you can land
on."
"...your
life's dream is to own every pair of panties belonging
to the girls in the local high school."
"...you
begin carrying a hammer in your back pocket so you
can hit someone everytime they say something stupid."
"...you
give your enemies bread to stop a fight."
"...you
get your hair cut on a regular basis using a flying,
razor sharp bandana."
"...your
insults are aplified through a microphone to me another
person remember you."
"...your
fiancee makes you dress up in a leotard and tights."
"...you
change into a girl in order to ordergirly ice-cream
sundaes."
"...your
normal day consists of being jumped on at least 3
times by a purple-haired Chinese girl asking for dates."
"...your
father sells you to a circus for money or food."
"...you
have a grandmother that teaches ancient martial arts
techniques to your fiancee."
"...you
are surprized to see that grandparents OVER 2 feet
tall do indeed exist."
"...you
start looking for Panda Bears in retirement homes."
"...you
start to call you father 'old man' rather than dad
or by his name"
"...you
decide to be nice to your dad and bring him some bamboo."
"...you
decide your father and Genma Saotome happen to eat
in the same way (like it's your last meal!)."
"...you
look out the window and see a panda walking around
with a sign."
"...your
next door neighbor turns into a giant panda when he's
wet."
"...you
know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that two-foot-high
old people are to be feared and respected."
"...you
ask your great-grandmother if she was ever an Amazon."
"...your
best friend's mother starts laughing like Cologne."
"...you
have a sudden, inexplicable craving for massive quantities
of bamboo."
"..."friends"/relatives/masters
come trash your house & you find you can do nothing
but laugh sadly/hysterically."
"...your
great-grandma refuses to eat anything you cooked that
has mushrooms in it."
"...you'd
like to follow Judge Claude Frollo's example whenever
you think about your master: "This is an unholy demon.
I'm sending it back to Hell, where it belongs."
"...you
constantly pound your father to keep him from stealing
your food."
"...your
father is suddenly obsessed with having your hair
shaved or cut into an incredibly horrible hair-style."
"...you
think your overweight father is a panda."
"...you
are a martial artist who freeloads off one of your
students."
"...you
try to grope aforementioned student's three lovely
young daughters...constantly."
"...you
can hurl people one hundred yards straight up in the
air with your pipe."
"...people
call you a pervert at least ten times a day...and
you don't mind."
"...a
boy beats up your granddaughter and you try to force
him to marry her."
"...people
constantly confuse you with 300-year old Chinese undead."
"...you
can pull signs out of thin air."
"...you
would trade your own son for food."
"...your
response to anything bad happening is to start wailing
like a baby."
"...you
have no regular source of income, yet somehow manage
to support three unwed daughters, three freeloading
houseguests with bottomless pits for stomachs, and
make regular repairs to your house and dojo after
it suffers about $4,000,000 of damage a week."
"...you
start stealing bras and panties everyday."
"...you
die to have a girl 3 centuries younger than you."
"...you
start to die if you haven't rubbed a bra or grabbed
a woman."
"...your
eyes start to glow and your aura attacks the person
who stopped you from stealing panties."
"...you
start to shrink to less than a foot."
"...you
chase girls, look up their skirts, touch them, etc."
"...you
smoke a long pipe everyday and use it to launch people
into the air."
"...you
constantly eat and run without paying saying, "Send
the bill to the Tendo Dojo!"
"...you
have a panda and a guy with long hair kneel at your
feet."
April/May/June
1999 List - Ranma 1/2 Rivalries
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...upon
discovering your new friend is also your fiancee's
fiance'. you resort to such pleasantries as poisoned
food to eliminate the competition!"
"...half
the time your rival wants to kill you, and the other
half he/she wants to marry you."
"...you
attack your crush's sibling(s) because he/she/they
live with him/her."
"...you're
someones rival, yet desire object at the same time,
and this is the case with 5 different people."
"...you
are rivals with someone because they keep trying to
make you wear a bra."
"...you
are someone's rival becuase they got the crap kicked
out of them by your fiance and wants to marry them
now."
"...your
rival somehow, out of some strange luck no matter
how bad a sense of direction they have, happens to
show up where ever you are."
"...the
lover of a girl you don't even like chases you claiming
that you stole her from him."
"...you
end up trying to beat up a girl before school every
day so you'll be allowed to date with her."
"...you've
hated this guy for years and have tracked him all
over Japan and China (even though you have no sense
of dirrection) and when you finally find him he doesn't
remember who you are.
"...you
go around calling your rival P-chan to get on his/her
nerves."
"...some
guy with a bokken wants to kill you because you're
engaged to his love and you become his other love
when you get wet."
"...you
are someone's rival because they hitt your little
black pig."
"...your
rival destroys half of down town Tokyo trying to get
you."
"...you
are someone's rival because you believe the reason
a certain boy/girl won't go out with you because your
rival uses black magic to keep him/her from you."
"...you
are a rival with someone because they stole your pet
pig."
"...you
get into a fight at school and start calling your
opponent Ranma and try to steal the bread off his
lunch tray."
"...you
fight with your old man all of the time because he
treats you like a girl."
"...your
fiance's friends seem to always be chasing you and
trying to dispose of her."
"...your
worst enemy is always relying on you to get home,
as he's always lost."
"...you
are the principals rival in school because he refused
to put you on a field trip to china, to look for the
magical streams."
"...you
put on puppet shows to tell people how evil your enemy
really is (A la Kuno)"
"...you
walk near a wall, you expect people to burst through
it and scream, "(Your name here)... DIE!"
"...you
start a rivalry with every guy and girl in school
because it seems a good way to get dates and improve
fighting skills all at once."
"...you
dress up as the opposite gender to get your rival
to give you something."
"...you
whack anyone who insults you with Thor's Hammer."
"...you
want to give someone a buzz-cut because they stopped
you from doing it to someone else."
"...you
think your rival turns into a cute little black pig."
"...you
become jealous of your girlfriend's pot bellied pig."
"...you
run after the fiancee of your biggest crush with a
long stick yelling "I shall smite thee!!!"
"...your
rival is a cute girl, becuase you stole her family
buisness and ran off when you were a kid ,becuase
your greedy father tricked you, and about 5 years
later she shows up at your school making okonomyaki."
"...your
rival calls you from Africa saying he can't make it
because he got lost."
"...it
does not strike you as odd that your rival is attacking
you with a parasol."
"...you
are someones rival because the choose your dad's Okonomiyaki
cart instead of you."
"...you
are someone's rival because you have irreversibly
changed their name to "Pantyhose" until they can find
and defeat you. Naturally, you think that "Pantyhose"
is a perfectly fine name."
"...you
and another girl are killing each other over a guy
who's dating some other girl."
"...you
wear glasses but don't wear them and keep fighting
other people thinking they are your rivals."
"...you
fight with two other *fiances* for your lover but
end up half killing him and having him to pay $4,
000,000 in property damage."
"...you
smack a supermarket manager with a wad of bills demanding
that you have a phoenix egg and using it to fight
your rival but end up with no neck."
