(Containing
January - December 1998 lists)
January
1998 - Cologne||February 1998 -
Genma||March 1998 - Kodachi||April
1998 - Ryouga||May 1998 - Hinako||June
1998 - Soun||July 1998 - Nodoka||August
1998 - Male Ranma Saotome||September
1998 - Female Ranma Saotome||October
1998 - Patrons of the Ranma 1/2 Library||November
1998 - Ranma 1/2 Martial Arts||December
1998 - Ranma 1/2 Romance
January
1998 list - Cologne
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...you
call every old woman you see makle jerky."
"...you
start calling people son-in-law."
"...your
kid's 1st word is Cologne!"
"...one
of the scariest things about you is your face."
"...you
try to teach someone how to grab chestnuts roasting
over an open flame, or how to shatter huge boulders
using only one finger."
"...the
only meaning of the word "Cologne" to you is a 1 foot
tall old woman hopping around on a stick..."
"...everybody
goes around calling you an "old ghoul.""
"...not
even Happosai will chase you... {blech}"
"...when
there are a few tapes in a row featuring Cologne."
"...you
spend the rest of your life atop a twisted bosai branch."
"...all
you see when you go out for a walk is people's kneecaps."
"...you
demand your grandpa return a bangle or mirror he stole
a hundred years ago and he doesn't know what you're
talking about."
"...you
try to stretch your eyelids with saucers to achieve
the 'big eyes' look."
"...Failing
that, you paste the saucers on your eyes instead."
"...Chinese
food becomes the norm at your house."
"...you
go every where either on top of a wooden staff, or
else in a strange bird-shaped coach pulled by three
huge vultures ("What's that?!" "Must be a UFO!" "Dumbest
lookin' UFO _I_ ever saw...")"
"...you
run into the perfume section yelling Cologne..Cologne!"
"...you
open a Ramen shop called Nekohanten."
"...you
beat a girl in China and this old troll comes after
you yelling "Moko Duno Come Back!!!!" "
"...you
are a 300 year old Chinese amazon who has a purple
haired grandaughter who's in love with a pig-tailed
(and extremely fine) boy."
"...2,000
year old grannys are trying to hook you up with their
nieces."
"...some
old lady whacks you on the back of the head with a
wooden staff HARD!!!"
"...you
try to teach the Hiryuu Shouten Ha to you weak little
brother."
"...you
wear a large pink pendant around your neck hoping
that some martial artist will challenge you for the
candy you've hidden inside it."
"...you
picture your grandmother about 200 years older, and
hopping around on a wooden pole and shudder(or smile!)"
February
1998 list - Genma
"...you
spend hours at the zoo waiting for the Panda's to
write signs."
"...you
think it might be nice to have Genma as a father."
"...you
wear some sort of diaper on your head."
"...you
let your stomach control most of your training."
"...your
father tries to sell you for a bowl of rice and a
pickle."
"...you
decide: Y'know Genma's not that bad a guy. In fact,
I wanna be like Genma when I grow up."
"...you
throw your only son into a pit of starved kitties."
"...you
get a job at a zoo and teach the pandas how to speak
with signs, after industriously splashing boiling
water on all of them."
"...your
father gets you multiple fiancees for food, money,
etc."
"...you're
asked a question in lecture that you don't know the
answer to, and your first impulse is to play mute
and hold up random signs 'til the prof gives up."
"...you
run from wrinkled old men, just in case they might
be your old master."
"...you
wonder if Takahashi-sensei got her any of her ideas
from Charles Schultz (Genma's signs are a lot like
Snoopy's signs)"
"...the
portion of your brain that is usually devoted to logic
and ethics is actually located in your stomach."
"...a
lot of your problems are caused by not reading that
one last page."
"...you
vow to make a man of your son and cry incessantly
as you realized you've failed!"
"...you
and some friends are forming an organization to plot
world conquest and you convince them that it should
be called, "The Order of the Panda."
"...your
friends ask you want for Christmas, and all you can
think of is a nice big tire. . ."
"...you
start hoping that your father could turn into a panda
to shut up."
"...you
need someone to marry and marry fast, you look to
him for answers."
"...your
father ends up getting you several fiancees to marry
and marry fast."
"...(For
guys only) Because of him, you turn into a girl whenever
splashed by cold water."
"...you
pray and hope your father doesn't have a perverted
old master or friend whose daughter you are engaged
to."
"...The
bald look is in."
"...you
dress up like a panda and work as an assistant for
Dr. Tofu."
"...you
eat your food in 5 seconds or less."
March
1998 list - Kodachi
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...you
begin to check each meal for paralyzing potions."
"...you
begin to laugh uncontrollably at anything."
"...your
gymnastics partners are afraid you're going to kill
them with your ribbon."
"...you
look around wildly and get a nervous tick every time
you here the words 'black' and 'rose' in the same
sentence."
"...even
though you are a grown man, you put on a blue leotard
and prance down the street twirling a blue ribbon,
madly laughing(in a high pitched womans voice of course!)
and leaving black rose pettals in your wake."
"...you
start using Hoops, Ribbons and black roses to attract
guys."
"...you
enter a female martial arts gymnats's competition
and start fearing for your life."
"...even
Naga(Slayers) and Jinnai(El-Hazard) fear the laugh
that you learned from a certain female martial arts
gymnast..."
"...your
daily bill for black roses exceeds Bill Gates yearly
salary!"
"...you
see ribons flying through the air and think Kodachi!"
"...at
a gymnastics competition, you expect someone to throw
a razor hoop."
"...you
start thinking her laugh is cute."
"...you
think all gymnasts have an annoying brother who practices
Kendo"
"...you
see black petals on the street"
"...you
see three girls crying saying that they'e just been
beaten up by a martial arts gymnast."
"...you
belive your crush is possesed by a female demon."
"...the
sight of black roses and ribbons makes you run for
the nearest gas mask (the poisoned flowers...heh)"
"...every
time that you get something that you ever wanted,
you run above parking cars screaming "_____ IS MINE,
MINE, MINE! HAHAHAHAHA!"
"...Your
nightmares include being snagged by your sister's
Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics ribbon and thrown
face first into a desk."
"...you
suddenly gain the ability to hurt people with a ribbon
on a pole."
"...your
voice gets high pictched and your laugh drives people
away."
"...you
go to the drug store to try and buy poisons."
"...you
start feeling demented and fall instantly in love
with any guy who looks at you."
"...your
brother has his dog test the food you cook for poison."
April
1998 list - Ryouga
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"..
you give yourself the Ryoga Hibiki award for getting
lost when losing the way walking home from the local
elementary school (2-3 blocks?)"
"...you
start sharpening your teeth into fangs and wearing
a leopard-spotted headband."
"...you
start wishing you could turn into a kawaii little
black piglet so you can get closer to the girl you
love."
"...your
pet is named P Chan."
"...you
find nothing strange about wearing an infinite bandanna
supply."
"...you
keep breaking your index finger practicing the Bakusai
Tenketsu on brick walls."
"...when
your content to live your life as someone's pet pig."
"...you
see a kid you don't like, start calling him Ranma,
and challenge him to a fight - but it takes you 4
weeks to get to the fighting ground..."
"...you
can't ask the girl you like out on a date with out
getting nervous and causing major property damage.
"
"...you
start yelling Bakusai Tenketsu and point your finger,
thinking that the nearby rock will explode."
"...you
take off your headband, and you keep taking it off,
and off, and off..."
"...you
go out to get milk but end up in South Africa. "
"...you're
upset when you can't cut things with your belt."
"...when
bandannas become a personal icon."
"...you
don't eat pork and it's not because you're Jewish."
"...you
try to let make canine teeth grow out to be fangs...because
Ryoga looks so cool with `em. "
"...you
touch something and it explodes."
"...you
feel the need to get a license to carry an umbrella."
"...continental
drift has new meaning for you."
"...you
ask an old woman to tie you in a tree and to push
large boulders toward you.."
"...people
from faraway places see you regularly (coz you're
always lost somewhere over there)"
"...you
leave holes in the wall wherever you go!"
"...you
often say "Where the hell am I now!!??!!"
"...you
tremble at the thought of pork chops..."
"...you
fall in love with Ryoga and start hating Akane and
Akari..."
"...you
start throwing umbrellas all over the place."
"...the
sight of a girls cleavage gives you nosebleeds."
"...you
start bringing an umbrella to school everyday and
won't take off those darn plastic fangs..."
"...you
start splashing guys with cold water just to see if
they'll turn into a little black pig."
"...you
can't look at a pork chop or bacon without suffering
from a major panic atack."
"...the
person you've had a grudge against for the last few
years doesn't even remember who you are when you finally
catch up to him."
"...even
a cabbage has more sense than you."
"...most
of what you wear can be turned into a weapon of some
sort."
"...you
can't find your way to your own back yard."
"...-
you yell "Shishi Hokodan!" and fling your arms at
something in hopes that all the pain will go away..."
"...you
start giving any Asian pot-bellied pigs you meet really
weird looks."
"...
you wonder what Asuza was thinking... "Charlotte?"
"...you
try tying one hundred steel-plated combat bandannas
to your head and fail miserably."
"...you
expect your dog to bring you letters."
"...
whenever you're feeling overwhelmed, you scream "RANMA!
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
"...you
tense up in the cafeteria because you're expecting
someone to jump on your head at any moment."
"...you
mutter "who's laughing now, pig-boy?" every time you
bite into a BLT."
"...you
think the person asking you for directions wears a
black-and-yellow bandanna and is starting to grow
fangs..." "...you grab people and shake them, asking
"Where is (name of place)?" when you're standing two
feet away from it."
"...you
want Rand and McNally to feel your wrath. (Rand-McNally
makes maps. Duh.)"
"...you
look very closely at everything large and white because
it might just be a giant sumo pig."
"...you
worry about taking off your belt too rapidly because
it might slice your pants off."
"...you
need detailed directions to get to the bathroom. In
your own house."
"...when
you're working a maze, you scream "Bakesai Tenketsu!"
and draw a line through three of the walls."
"...
you coat your hands with nitroglycerin so you can
do a REAL Blasting Point Technique."
"...
you start wondering how Ryouga can be so upbeat all
the time."
"...you
wonder what Ryouga would be like on Prozac. "Ranma!
Buddy!"
"...you
start watching Dracula films and expecting the words
"Shishi Hokodan" to figure into the plot at some point."
"...you
buy a cute little bandanna for your pet pig."
"...you
decide to lead-plate your umbrella."
"...
you find yourself in the middle of the forest (or
desert, or tundra) for no apparent reason."
"...you
can cross large bodies of water without knowing it."
"...
you start trying to translate what your cute little
pet pig is trying to tell you."
"...everytime
it rains you scream, "BWEEEEE!!!"
"...you
wish Ty Inc. would hurry up and make a little black
Beanie Baby piglet."
"....you've
been banned from your county fair for pouring hot
water on all the black pot belly pigs."
"...you
spend an entire day searching for a yellow pattern
with black rectangles for your headbands."
"...you
start wishing _your_ depression could blast mile-wide
holes in the earth, too."
"...umbrellas
are starting to get heavy."
"......you
are surprised to learn that Brazil and Cameroon are
actually seperated by a large body of water."
"...you
hear the 80's song "Heart of Glass" by Blondie and
think of a certain bandanna-clad boy."
"...despite
the fact that you are not Jewish, you see some merit
in being kosher."
"...you
suffer major blood-loss at the first glimpse of cleavage."
"...you
wonder, how did all these French, Basque, Swahili,
and Greenlandic gaijin get in the suburbs of Nerima?"
"...
you leave work/school every day saying, "This is last
time you'll see me. Goodbye forever."
"...you
give directions to your house, they are so vague the
friends never arrive..."
"...you
must ask a hated enemy to bring you home..."
"...you
contrive many ways to get (Akane) for yourself (ie
magic fishing pole)"
"...every
time your mind wonders, you find yourself thinking
of Akane"
"...you
squeel whenever you get close to someone you love."
"...you
entered a walk-in closet and haven't been seen since."
"...you
force your boyfriend to wear yellow and black bandannas,
which you have developed a fetish for..."
May
1998 list - Hinako
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...the
moment your teacher moves toward any circular shaped
metal object, you run far away, fast!"
"...you
aim a round object at someone and hope to drain their
energy. "
"...you
feel really drained and immediately wonder if Hinako
drained your chi."
"...you're
holding your teacher's hand while walking around town
buying her balloons and candy."
"...you
expect to see your teacher turn into a 12 year old
kid."
"...you
go around looking for "naughty kids"... No, not that
kind of "naughty"... get your mind out of the gutter!"
"...you're
a grown-up trapped in a kid's body, well, at least
some of the time."
"...you
start carrying around a 5 yen coin around in the hopes
of stopping fights."
"...you
buy your dresses 3 times your size incase you ever
get that chi draining thing to work ; )"
"...you
are trying to use the Happo Five yen satsu on the
school bully..."
"...you
wonder who Hinako's tailor is, that can create a dress
that fits both a little girl and a fully-grown woman."
"...you
have a house full of 5yen and 50yen coins."
"...anytime
you see or hear about anything bad, you say "I must
stop those delinquents!", pull out a coin with a hole
in it, and rush out of the room."
"...you
stare suspiciously at coins on your teachers' desks..."
"...you
keep waiting for your teacher to shrink."
"...you
run from a twelve year old with a coin."
"...you
begin studying Shiatsu in hopes to stop your teacher
from Draining the life of the student body... "
"...you're
highly phobic about allowing young girls near anything
round."
"...you
are terribly afraid of little girls wearing one-size-fits-all
clothes."
"...you
get into a small argument and get your energy drained."
"...you
search in every school for a 12 years old teacher."
"...you're
12, but keep trying to turn into an adult."
"...you
use a 50 yen coin to suck energy so you can turn into
an adult."
"...you
try to hit tghe Pressure points on your teacher."
"...you
avoid substitute teachers like a plague."
"...you
actually WANT to get drained by Hinako, just to see
her other form."
"......you
keep wondering if your English teacher would turn
into a gorgeous babe if you could somehow imbude her
with ki-energy... And then start to plan how to match
her up with your significant other's cry-baby father...
Before you remember your significant other doesn't
HAVE a father..."
"...your
little sister grows up in five seconds! "
"...my
teachers start reminding me of Hinako Ninomiya when
they take my energy away in the boring classes they
give."
"...you
wont stop trying to throw a yen-powered chi blast
with you're bare hands!! "
"...you
grab girls' breasts and say your just trying too stop
them from draining your chi."
"...you
scream whenever you see a fifth grader walking around
in the high school.
"...you
get interested into your student's father."
"...you
try to suck energy out of your parents for not giving
you enough pocket money."
"...you
see your teacher draining energy out of your classmates
to give others the impression that she has a great
figure."
"...you'd
willingly sacrifice your energy to Hinako if her chest
would finally develop enough to rip open that blouse."
"...
you pick up any one-cent coins on the street so that
you can drain other people's energy."
"...
you keep trying to drain your student's energy to
give the guy you have crush on a good impression but
he won't let you. "
"...
you keep wearing outfits that are bigger a size so
that they won't tear when you change into your adult
form."
".
. . you get the jitters at the sound of loose change."
"...you
point fruitloops at people to turn into a gorgeous
person."
June
1998 list - Soun
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...you
start crying at the slightest things."
"...you
have a giant monster head just in case if somebody
pisses you off."
"...you
decide Soun is the best father in the world."
"...you're
the tallest person in your neighborhood yet you cower
before the shortest..."
"...you
burst into tears because your daughter let out a scowl."
"...you
blitz out when your daughter sneezes, and start praying
that she won't die!"
"...you
go to the plastic surgeon to get your tear ducts enlarged,
'cause you wanna be able to cry at everything so you
have an excuse for not being lazy."
"...you
start crying like a baby when things don't go your
way."
"...you
start growing long hair and a mustache and think hanging
around with a Panda at the Baths is cool..."
"...you
can drink coffee and brush your teeth at the same
time..."
"...
you see a little balding old man, and you immidiately
drop to your knees, lean forward with arms outstretched,
and say 'Master, please forgive your most humble and
obidient servant' ...."
"...you
start playing chess with panda bears."
"...you
cry each time Ranma talks to another girl..."
"...
you admit you're tired and go sit in the bath tub
the whole day."
"...whenever
you become angry, your tongue gets really long and
discolored."
"...your
hair sticks up 3 feet when you hear about Happosai!"
"......you
could probably stand to begin taking some emotion
regulating medicine..."
"...a
pair of freeloaders live in your house and eat all
your food..."
"...you
always agree with a panda."
"...everytime
you look at your children you start hearing wedding
bells."
"...you
believe that your best friend is really a panda in
disguise."
"...you
burst into tears of joy when your best friend agrees
to marry his/her child to yours."
"...nine-tenths
of your head has become tear glands, ready to go at
a moment's notice."
"...your
future son-in-law is a girl."
"...your
roof has over 10,000 holes caused by your daughter
and your future son-in-law and you're still playing
Shogi with a panda."
"...a
pig jumps into your tub, a man jumps out, and you
just go back to reading the paper. "
"...you
sit out on the porch and expect to see a giant panda
sitting next to you."
"...you
wait for a giant panda and a red-haired(and well built)
girl to come through your door."
"...you
throw a tantrum and you're aged at least 50+..."
"...you
think your best friend can turn into a panda when
splashed with cold water."
"...you
find out your best friend is REALLY into pandas, but
you don't worry about it."
"...you
start thinking its normal to have three grown daughters,
two shapeshifting houseguests who don't pay room and
board, and their shapeshifting or troublesome friends/enemies
coming over at any time of day when you have no income
to pay for damages caused by the afore mentioned people
and no way to get one(income.) Whew!"
July
1998 list - Nodoka
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...your
mom comes over and you instinctively run to the bathroom
for cold water."
"...
you expect to find Panda-san and Ranko-chan at the
Tendo Dojo."
"...when
your mother disagrees (and would like to kill ya)
you would like to turn into a pretty girl and enter
to the ladies bathroom!"
"...you
pretend your father's a panda when your mother's around."
"...you end up diving into your neighbour's pool to
prevent your mother from discovering the fact that
your father failed at making you a man among men."
"...you
think your spouse would look good as a panda."
"...you
see your mother carry around a katana wrapped in a
cloth all the time for some strange reason."
"...you
wonder how on earth someone like Genma could end up
marrying someone like Nodoka."
"...after
years of searching for your long lost family, you
only find a red head and her pet panda."
"...you
start avoiding your mom fearing she'll rip your bowels
out on a whim. "
"...you
say your son'll make a "good wife" someday."
"...you
start promising your mother that you'll commit seppuku
if you don't get honor role on your report card."
"...your
husband and son always seem to be gone on another
training mission when you visit..."
"...you
can't speak to your mother because you had a "sex"
change."
"...your
mother tries to teach your fiancee to cook and it
doesn't work."
"...you
suddenly realize you hardly know you mother because
your father took you on a VERY long trip..."
"...your
mom wants to give toxic food your fiancee made to
your pet panda."
"...you
think your mother wants you to be a man among men,
and are about to commit seppuku when you remember
that you're female. "
"...you
see a panda holding a sign that says "Hello someone
else's wife!"
"...you
stay away from hot water whenever your mother's around."
"...you
starts seeing Pandas and Red haired girls all around
you."
"...seeing
your mother gives you the creeps."
"......you'd
like your son to become a sex-fiend-peeping-tom-ogler."
"...you
start waving a sword at your son the moment he wears
anything that a girl should wear."
"...your
adopted niece avoids hot water around you like the
plague..."
"...when
your mother asks you to chop vegetables, you nearly
collapse in relief, because that's all she wanted
you to do with the knife."
"...you
do something sissy and are afraid to tell your mother!"
"...you
start thinking you can fool your rival's mother into
giving you the 'Saotome' family secrets by pretending
to be her long lost son, but end up getting your butt
kicked by the aforementioned son."
August
1998 list - Male Ranma Saotome
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when..."
"...you
start referring to your female "foes" as "kawaiikune
flatchested macho tomboys"."
"...some
of your "Old Friends" show up to kill you, and one
who turns out to be female when you thought she was
male, and the other who now turns into a pig because
of you."
"...
you're walking down the street with your mom, it starts
raining, and you run away in fear from her!"
"...you
consider it to be normal when you get bashed on the
head by a gigantic hammer, almost destroyed by a king
of a strange race of bird-paople who can throw gigantic
fire balls as large as houses, and half of the people
in town want to kill you while the other half want
to marry you..."
"...you
decide that having an ego the size of a small planet
would be okay..."
"...you
never go near anything that consists of fish in case
there are cats nearby."
"...you
think that cats are the most horrible, terrifying,
disgusting, cruel, etc creatures in the whole wide
world."
"...you're
crazy over pigtails."
"...you
can vaguely remember a childhood trauma involving
fish sausages and a pit pf angry cats..."
"...you
go around cursing your father and muttering something
about pickles. "
"...you
start referring to your girlfriend as being "uncute"
(or "kawaiikune")."
"...you
begin to walk on fences and walls without falling
on your ass."
"...your
girlfriend and a mallet appear out of nowhere at any
given time."
"...you
actually try to do Ranma's moves in real life."
"...everyone
you know chases you down the street for no reason."
"...your
father's 300 year old martial arts master runs around
stealing panties & grabbing at every female it sees-and
keeps wanting you to turn into a girl to wear a bra
that he has."
"...you
walk down to street and start singing"Never ganna
be a girl again, Never ganna be a girl again..." and
wonder why people are looking at you weird."
"...you
expect to have three fiancee's by the age of 16."
"...when
you go to pools you are hestitant in getting in and
check to see if the water is warm."
"...you
get smacked by your fiance more than kissed."
"...
... you curse in rhymes, "You're built like a stick,
your hips are so thick, you're heavy as a brick ..."
"...
you find out that your father has yet again sold you
for food."
"...when
you start calling your dad "Old Man" and making him
cry."
"...you
start getting in trouble for all the crimes Happosai,
your father, and everyone else in your life, commits..."
"...when
everyone starts yelling its your fault and proceeds
to make you pay for their misery...."
"...your
name is written all over okonomi-yaki with hearts
surrounging them made by your best friend since childhood
who you thought was a guy but actually was a girl
who carries a huge spatula. Whew!"
"...
your pop starts engaging you for food."
"...you
start trying to draw your school enemy into a spiral
to perform the Hiryuu Shouten Ha on him."
"...
you sneak into your fiancee's room with a pot of hot
water to change her pet pig into a human, end up on
top of her, and are denounced a pervert at the breakfast
table the next morning."
"...all
of a sudden Pigs try to kick your @$$"
"...you
can't go a full hour without getting soaked."
"...you
grow a pig-tail and start pouring cold water on yourself
thinking you'll change to a girl."
"...you
accidentally get splashed with cold water and you
check your pants to see if everything is still there.
"
"...you
start asking all the red-heads you know if they've
ever been of the cursed springs ofJusenkyo..."
"...the
only thing that ends up in your mouth more than food
is your foot."
"...despite
the fact that you have almost no social skills, you
have no trouble attracting girls."
September
1998 - Female Ranma Saotome
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...you
try to get get your grandfather mad by showing off
pictures of you in girls underwear."
"....you
are sent hobbling to a doctor after every encounter
with a tomboy."
"....you
are followed everywhere by at least three people determined
to kill you."
"....you
try to win dates through battle."
"....you
start calling your enemies 'p-chan'."
"...you
avoid rain at all costs, because your afraid your
going to turn into a woman."
"...you've
decided that turning into a woman with cold water
would be a great way to practice some of the "techniques"
you use on your girlfriend/wife."
"...you
start wondering just how complete Ranma's female form
is."
"...you
wish that Ranma never got the Kiifuisuu so she could
have stayed female."
"...
little old men start throwing bras at you."
"...
you know how to get more free eats than your fiance."
"...you
see a redhead in a red Chinese gi who is either looking
for a "Kaisufuu," "Phoenix Pill," or "Nannichuan".."
"...you
insist on wearing boy's clothes all the time, and,
when you do stoop so low as to don a female's bathing
suit, insist that it read "BOY" in big, bold letters..."
"...even
when you're a girl the other girls still want to go
out with you."
"...you
take 20 warm showers a day."
"...you
throw hot water to tha red-headed girl that sits in
front of you."
"...its
not unusual to see people fighting and running on
walls and telephone poles."
"...you
avoid cold water in fear of turning into a woman."
"...pandas
begin carrying you around town."
"...you
and a boy are both nude in the bathroom when your
father walks in and he sees nothing wrong with this."
"...you
begin to fear little old ladies emptying water on
the streets.."
"...a
dirty old man tries to grope you during school."
"...you
get depressed when you can't turn into a boy from
cold water."
"...a
girl that turns into a cat loves you and chases you
around every day asking for a date."
"...you
carry around a bucket of hot water wherever you go."
"...you
win a father/son trip to China and remember how your
wife always wanted a girl...."
"...you're
glomped by a would-be kendo star every evening."
"...you
have a better-looking female body than your fiancee."
"...
you constantly refer to yourself as a man!"
"...you
see a guy in pigtails mumble "Never gonna be a girl
again..."
"...
when people start calling you Tree-Borne Kettle Girl."
"...you
ask girls with red hair in a pigtail if they're really
a boy in hopes of finding a cute guy."
"...you
brag to other girls about how nicely you're built,
despite the fact that you're a boy"
"...you
want to turn into a woman to get free food."
"...you
start kicking everyone who annoys you into orbit."
October 1998 - Patrons of the Ranma 1/2 Library
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...when
something 'good' happens, you close your eyes, smile
to the max, and happily chirp "haaaaaaaaaaaiiiii!!"
in that oh so cute Ranchan way! *^.^*"
"...you
bring your own special techniqes to your every day
life.(ie,your job,school,at the dinner table,etc)"
"...you
can relate anything in the Ranma-verse to real life
experinces with your friends."
"...watch
each tape 7 times in the duration of 2 days, to get
your money's worth."
"...you
actually go to China to see if Jusenkyo actually exists..."
"...you
can sing all the intro songs, in the original Japanese."
"...you
see the weather forecast call for rain and you pack
a portable stove and kettle."
"...you
start to pretend Ranma's your boyfriend..."
"...you
save lunch money everyday and don't eat to buy the
anime..."
"...you
are disappointed after a cold shower because you haven't
spontaneously switched genders."
"...you
go looking for a "You know you've been into Ranma
1/2 too much when..." list to fill out."
"...you're
constantly trying to find Nannichuan or Nyannichuan
so you can be cured of your curse. (or switch gender)"
"...you
start yelling Ranma 1/2 character names at Japanese
exchange students from the Cable cars at Great America."
"...you
and a group of your friends decide to dress up as
Ranma characters for Halloween, and you are entirely
too old to go trick-or-treating. But you do anyway."
"...you
rewind the beginning of the episodes just to hear
the theme song you like so much over and over again."
"...you
find that you've written a VERY good ranma fanfic
in your sleep."
"...you
start talking like Ranma characters, singing the songs
and acting like them."
"...you
burst into tears because you missed contributing to
your favorite character's YKYWTMR1/2W list."
"...every
guy with black hair and a pig-tail in your town has
a restraining order on you, or have shaved their heads
bald out of fear."
"...you
laugh at your friends for having crushes on movie
stars, and then you go home and work on your 40 meg
shrine to Ranma Saotome."
"...you
shout Ryoga's attacks in a public shopping mall."
"...you
get into a fight with someone, and keep trying to
use your chi in ways reminiscent to the characters
of the series."
"...you
start to take on a different character's personality
each week."
"...you
start telling your girlfriend that she should be more
like Akane."
"...you
start to say " I am the risng young star of (your
school's name)'s Fencing and kendo club. I am the
charmer of ladies and the envy of men. My peers call
me the BLUE THUNDER OF (your school's name)!" on a
daily basis!"
"...you
use the merchandise list at any given place as a check
list instead of looking for new stuff to buy..."
"...you
stay up til 3 am in your dorm lounge talking about
Ranma 1/2 (especially when you have a 7:30 am class
the next day!)."
"...you
& your twin plaster your dorm room walls (not to mention
your room at home!) with Ranma 1/2 pictures!"
"...you
watch episodes over just to hear P-chan's fading squeal
in the gymnastics episode."
"...you
jump into stranger's swimming pools in hopes you might
change into something else."
"...you
see a giant panda hit a cute pig-tailed girl with
a bus sign and think of it as normal."
"...you
dream of being a member of the band DoCo."
"...you
see a duck with glasses on it."
"...your
normal day takes you to fight all your classmates,
fight a Panda, escape from dozens of fiancees and
avoid cold water."
"...you've
read enough fanfiction to identify an author by writing
style alone."
"...you
volunteer to be a fic reviewer just so you won't miss
any new Ranma fic."
"...you
start thinking about how Jusenkyo works."
"...(biochem
majors only) you come up with a plausible technobabble
explanation for how Jusenkyo works."
"...you
begin to idly speculate on the nature of ki."
"...(physics
majors only) you tie Ranmaverse ki manipulation into
quantum mechanics."
"...you
frantically search the net and the r.a.a.c. archive
for new Ranma stories. More than once a day."
"...you
begin wondering if compiling an a-to-z guide to ALL
Ranma fanfic would be a nice way to spend the next
two months."
"...you
buy a T1 setup so you can download all sorts of Ranma
stuff *that* much faster."
"...you
begin writing your own epic fanfic that no one will
ever, ever see."
"...you
WRITE an epic fanfic, post it, and bask in the glory
of your admirers."
"...you
begin throwing Japanese into your everyday conversations
and no one understands you but you don't care."
"...you
start yelling out Ranmaverse attacks to go along with
the special moves in FFVII."
"...you
begin wondering if Ranma is real but is being concealed
by a government conspiracy."
"...you
mail Takahashi-sama incessantly and beg her to continue
the series."
"...you
mail Takahashi-sama incessantly and beg her to let
YOU continue the series."
"...you
find yourself asking "What would Kasumi do?" when
you're about to have a nervous breakdown."
"...you
begin compiling a list of character portrayals in
fanfics and trying to find trends."
"...you
begin wondering if "Turbo Teen" was inspired by Jusenkyo."
"...you
compare all other art forms to the anime and manga."
"...you
start hoping that if you write enough self-insertion
stories, maybe it'll happen some day..."
"...you
look at every aspect of your life as if it were in
a Ranma episode."
"...you
go away to college, don't have a TV, and subsequently
go into Ranma withdrawl."
"...you
scream at the manager at your local video store for
saying "Ranma what?""
"...you
buy a shitajiki of Ranma and make a mousepad out of
it (that's true, my mouse pad is made from a shitajiki
^_^;)"
"...you
come back faithfully once a month to contribute to
the "too much Ranma" list!"
"...you
start calling your best friend "bacon breath""
"...you
spent hours listening to the music from the series
and movies."
"...you
get a pet duck, get some thick coke-bottle glasses
for it to wear, and you think it looks cool!""
"...your
cat's name is Shampoo (Really, it is!)"
"...you
find yourself reading all available Manga in one day,
or one afternoon, or one hour..."
"...start
pouring hot water on every animal you find in hopes
of it being a beautiful girl in a curse."
"...you
dream about turning into a red-headed pig-tail girl
when splashed with cold water."
"...you
get a job at Blockbuster Video just so that you can
get the entire Ranma series at a discount."
"...you
have been watching Ranma 1/2 for 4 hours in a row."
"...you
try to walk along fence's and keep falling off."
"...you
delibrately take the wrong bus to school hoping that
you can get lost like a familiar someone..."
"...you
begin dating two girls and address them as Akane or
the "Pig Tailed Girl". "
"...you
can talk on and on about all the relationships, facts,
and figures of Ranma 1/2 without going back to an
episode to check."
"...you
start blasting everything in your IRC channel with
obscure martial arts popups."
"...you've
seen so much Ranma Anime that live actors on TV start
to look odd."
"...you
know you've you've been into Ranma 1/2 too much when
you can recite nearly 20 hours of it word for word."
"...you
threaten your co-workers by saying you'll start singing
in Japanese if they don't quit doing something."
"...you
try to chop down a tree with a wooden sword just to
show to your mom how your favorite character is strong."
"...you
are taking a test at school and accidently put down
Ranma 1\2 as an answer."
November
1998 - Ranma 1/2 Martial Arts
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...you
see a tornado and wonder who could have possibly made
Ranma so angry! (i'm talkin about the Hiryu Shoten
Ha, by the by)"
"...you
actually learn one (or more) of those techniques.."
"...And
so does someone else..."
"...And
you two fight using those techiques..."
"...On
a daily basis..."
"...Over
food..."
"...you
start performing Amazon girl Kiss of Deaths to your
mailman..."
"...you
open up a place called "The Ranma Dojo."
"...you
try to learn to conjure up a tornado so that you can
blast your damn irritating brother into outer space."
"...you
wash your teacher's hair with the Xiang Fa Gao hoping
that she didn't realize that you haven't handed in
your assignment."
"...you
wish you could pull giant kick-ass mallets out of
your pocket..."
"...you
start to bring your own personal collection of fifty-cent
coins to school hoping that you can scare the hell
out of your classmate with your Happo Fifty Yen Yatsu
techniques."
"...you
believe you must yank out of your 10 ton school bag
a spatula, sword or umbrella to show your affection
to a teacher."
"...you
try to blast your little sister/parent/best friend
with a shishihoukoudan whenever their mockery of your
Ranma 1/2 obsession sends you into the "depths of
desolation"."
"...you
can recite and execute every move in every character's
library, and convince yourself that they actually
work."
"...you
know you've been into ranma 1/2 to much when you try
to open anything (i.e. jars doors )with Ryouga's stone
shattering technique."
"...you
start referring to the National Hockey League as Anything-Goes
Martial Arts Figure Skating and you hope that on power
plays, the defense can actually pull off the Merry-Go-Round
Break-Up Technique to stop the opposing team from
scoring."
"...you
shout out the name of whatever it s you're doing as
though it were some attack or technique. (Keyboard
Type Attack!!!!)"
"...you
think the only way to prove your worth to your friends
is through Martial Rhythmic Gymnastic Competitions."
"...you
get mad a school so you try the breaking point technique
on the wall only to further humiliate yourself..."
"...you
try to use a bandana as a weapon."
"...you
ask your Karate teacher if s/he'll teach you Shiryu
Shoten Ha."
"...you
go to the library to look up anything on Ki"
"...every
stone object you touch mysteriously crumbles"
"...you
hear the beginning of the Christmas Song ("Chesnuts
roasting on an open fire...") and feel a huge urge
to punch someone."
"...you
try doing Ryoga's trick and poke holes into a girls'
locker room wall in order to spy on women as they
change."
"...you
throw yourself into an alley full of cats with meat
strapped to your back."
"...you
try beating your brothers with the chestnut roasting
on an open fire technique (or katsu tenching amaguriken)."
"...nobody
brings watermelons to your family reunions anymore."
"...you
ShiShihokoudan because you get a F on a test"
"...you
try to use the Breaking Point to get the lumps out
of your pillow."
"...you
are abosolutely certain that the two month-old cheese
in your refrigerator is really growing mold because
someone used Cologne's "box-blower Blow" om it. "
"...you
buy an extra long hair ribbon and try to convince
your martial arts teacher to let you use it. :)"
"...you
try to use the Bakusai Tenketsu in an attempt to make
your sibling's room collapse in on itself."
"...you
try to do the "dragon attack" to knock the forwards
of your rival team if you are a goalkeeper of a football
soccer team."
"...you
complain to you martial arts teaches 'xase he's not
teaching you any of those techniques!!!"
"...you
develop an elaborate and cool-sounding term for arm-wrestling."
"...you're
certain that throwing chi-blasts is feasible."
"...your
techniques defy several laws of physics."
"...your
under-garments are weighed-down from the ludicrous
amount of weaponry you store."
"...you
fervently believe a practitioner of martial-arts tea-ceremony
is no match for one who knows martial-arts flower-arranging."
"...you
mallet everyone with pigtails."
"...you
try to do the Chestnut Fist to get your dollar bill
out of the lit fireplace. "
"...you
get pissed off at someone and decided to dizzy them
using the Hiryu Shoten Ha."
"...you
see a cat and you do the cat-fu technique."
"...you
try to do the "chestnut fist" in a swimming pool and
think to your self that it actualy worked!!!"
"...you
scream "Anything goes school of martial arts final
attack!" and then spout gibberish to strike fear in
the hearts of the people around you."
"...you
scream "Katchuu Tenshin Ama-guri Ken" at someone who
beats you in a fighting style arcade game and think
that by screaming this it will help you in some way."
"...your
reaction to slam dancers is a long spiraling moonwalk...Hiryu
Shoten Ha!!!"
"...you
finnally figure out that Ranma is saying "Kachuu Tenshin
Amaguri Ken" intead of what it sounds like when he
does the Chestnut Fist."
"...you
try the Breaking Point Technique to break the school's
walls."
"...you
spend five days in your backyard with a partner trying
to do "Hiryu Shoten Ha", and since quitters never
win, I'm still parcticing!"
"...you
decide to join a delivery service after you master
the art or ancient chinese take out, 'It's fast or
it's free'."
"...you
try to sign up for classes at the nearest Tendo school
of anything martial arts to major in the Dance of
the Great Fire dragon Technique!"
"...you
think you can drain your little brother's energy and
dammit, it just doesn't work."
"...you
draw upon your confidence and determination, and try
to release it in the form of a ball of chi energy."
"...you're
Depressed, and then someone pisses you off, you try
to do the Shi Shi Houkodan on them."
"...you
look deeply for your Grandmothers brooch so you can
put it on your crush that hates you."
"...you
break your finger (repeatedly!) trying to smash walls
with Ryoga's "Bakusai Tenketsu" technique."
"...you
use the Hiryu Shoten Ha for dusting."
"...you
are preparing to cut the Thanksgiving turkey and ask
if anyone has a belt to use."
"...you
use Ranmas cat fist whenever you visit grandma and
see her cat..."
"...your
cigarette smoke begins to look like a pair of laced
panties!"
"...you
use anything goes martial arts figure skating to learn
to rollerblade."
December
1998 list - Ranma 1/2 Romance
You
know you're into too much Ranma 1/2 when...
"...you
put masking tape over your fiance's mouth before you
kiss him/her."
"...you
get a girl by beating her up and getting the kiss
of death."
"...you
give the 'kiss of death' to every kawaii guy you see,
and then sic your grandmother on them when they don't
agree to marry you."
"...you
try to win a guy's heart by giving him a magical mushroom(which
is impossible) that is hidden in some food."
"...you
think that your love shows their affection by wa
